MORE MUSINGS AND OTHER STUFF
BY ANOTHER OF THE IDLE POOR

(aka Dick Johnson, Jodi Boxers)

Didja ever give much thought to some of the expressions we use in our daily struggles. Well, I haven't either but there is one that tickled my fancy and inspired me to get involved in this tome. The expression I'm talking about is the "height of." You know like "Boy, that's the height of stupidity," or "That's gotta be the height of ugly." During one of my many musings (which incidentally come right before the loud suggestion of "Why don't you get off your lazy a__ and do something around here," the thought occured to me that this old expression (I'm referring to the former expression, not the latter) does relate to the sport (???) of dog showing. Lemme give you some frinstances:

The Height of Insensitivity - That's the judge who, while conducting his examination, accidentally steps on your dog's foot, then excuses him for limping.

The Height of Arrogance - This is the lady judge who shall remain nameless who explained to all who would listen, what a close call she had the previous evening. Seemed she decided to take a walk after dinner and was nearly run over by a speedboat.

The Height of Class - Any dog show where there is toilet paper in the Portajohns after 11 AM.

The Height of Chauvinism - The judge who says to a lovely handler "Go down, across, and come back to me...I'll hold your dog."

The Height of Pressure - You just enter the ring in a class of twelve and set up your dog when your diuretic kicks in.

The Height of Bliss - Receiving from AKC a notification that the dog you went Reserve to at Downinthedumps KC (and which was, in your opinion, a piece of excrement) has been disqualified under the Excrementally Challenged Rule and you are hereby awarded a five point major.

The Height of Ignorance - Any judge who puts your dog fifth out of five.